My grand return to World of Warcraft turned out to be a bit disappointing. I had expected horns and fireworks, and a collective sigh of relief that things were finally back to normal, everyone could let go of their dreadful longing (for the me) and start enjoying the game again.
The reason this didn't happen is, of course, because WoW never really stopped when I left, not that many people noticed, and in addition I have now started a completely new level 1 character on a whole different realm. Nevertheless, another dream of greatness shattered, in the most brutal of ways: By simply not caring.
Besides that, it was fun. Slower than I remembered, but still.
December 14, 2005
December 08, 2005
Harry Potter, professional bully
As you've likely guessed from the headline, it's time to talk about the deeper machinations of the mind. This stems from a discussion I had with a friend the other day. We were watching Harry Pothead and the Stoned Philosopher when she suddenly cried out: This is crap. Well, she didn't say it like that, and besides, she speaks norwegish, but still. Her main source of aggression was the blatantly obvious way in which the characters are presented: The bad brats are cowardly and stupid, while Potter & friends are kind, courageous, succesful, violent (but only when they 'need' to be) and petty. Wait a second. Petty? Oh, yes. The nice kids love nothing better than seeing their rivals get beaten and humiliated. My friend continued her tirade by saying how kids should't be exposed to this and how she would keep her own children from seeing it.
That's really where I chimed in (arguing that kids are capable of at least some thought), but that's beside the point. The Potter series is, as far as I'm concerned, quite harmless in its obvious escapism. Besides that, I agree with her completely, and had the same thoughts myself the first time I saw it. But let's leave Harry to his evil schemings and talk about something far more serious. Today, you see, I read the newspaper (and this is where you all go, "oooh!"). It told me that 18% of Norwegians between 18 and 25 years thinks torture is acceptable and a valuable tool in the skirmishes against terrorism. When every damn military intelligence expert will tell you that torture does not work, how in the pus-soaked hell have people gotten this impression? Yes, 24, I'm looking at you. The wildly overrated TV series throws torture at the viewer as often as possible, as many of you probably know. But the worst thing is, it's the good guys who're doing it. And they always get the information they need.
Of course, 24 is not alone in this ridiculous point of view. Basically, Hollywood (and most other parts of western culture) are telling us this: If the Bad People (tm) are violent, we, the Good Guys (tm), need to be even more violent. Violence is key, violence is God in western society. To me, this is far more disturbing than some kid who fights evil by waving his penis, excuse me, his 'magic wand', and plays airborne rugby without having to adjust his glasses once.
That's really where I chimed in (arguing that kids are capable of at least some thought), but that's beside the point. The Potter series is, as far as I'm concerned, quite harmless in its obvious escapism. Besides that, I agree with her completely, and had the same thoughts myself the first time I saw it. But let's leave Harry to his evil schemings and talk about something far more serious. Today, you see, I read the newspaper (and this is where you all go, "oooh!"). It told me that 18% of Norwegians between 18 and 25 years thinks torture is acceptable and a valuable tool in the skirmishes against terrorism. When every damn military intelligence expert will tell you that torture does not work, how in the pus-soaked hell have people gotten this impression? Yes, 24, I'm looking at you. The wildly overrated TV series throws torture at the viewer as often as possible, as many of you probably know. But the worst thing is, it's the good guys who're doing it. And they always get the information they need.
Of course, 24 is not alone in this ridiculous point of view. Basically, Hollywood (and most other parts of western culture) are telling us this: If the Bad People (tm) are violent, we, the Good Guys (tm), need to be even more violent. Violence is key, violence is God in western society. To me, this is far more disturbing than some kid who fights evil by waving his penis, excuse me, his 'magic wand', and plays airborne rugby without having to adjust his glasses once.
Have nerd, will trade
Seems like it's open season on nerds these days. First, go read this. And then, let me follow up with some colour commentary: Since the relative success of the football nerds, apparently Norwegian TV execs are desperate for other strange things they can get nerds to do. If you close your eyes, you can, mayhaps, see them in your mind; wondering, what places haven't nerds been before? The answer, of course, is blindingly obvious: The bosom of a beautiful woman. It's a concept almost mind-bending in its ingenious simplicity, yet it sounds about as fresh and innovative as a modern-day Dallas. But the logic of the executives is flawed, they're forgetting one thing: A beautiful woman is far more common than a quality nerd. They're in grave danger of treading well-worn waters when they're asking the females to apply, as well. Why not just grab a bunch of nerds and toss them into a den of sex-crazy strippers? And how about they replace the nerds with world-weary, physically deformed dwarves (preferrably intelligent ones)? Now that's a show I'd like to watch.
My guess is they'll get quite a few candidates for this one, though. For all their combined intelligence, the football nerds still don't seem to grasp the fact that they're being ridiculed on national TV. But neither does the average viewer, apparently.
My guess is they'll get quite a few candidates for this one, though. For all their combined intelligence, the football nerds still don't seem to grasp the fact that they're being ridiculed on national TV. But neither does the average viewer, apparently.
December 05, 2005
Celebrate the Randomness
What do you know, after each aggressive, pessimistic post there must follow complete nonsense. This time it comes in the form of Wikipedias graveyard of silliness, which should warm the hearts of everybody, especially fans of absurd humor.
Mankind Behaving Badly
Global peace is just around the corner! Or maybe not. Although it's easy to, once again, blame Israel for making an unnecessary contribution to world chaos, reality is as always not that simple. Actually, their behaviour in this case resembles the actions of a spoiled child more than a psychopathic killer (which is usually the case). And on that same note, the sulky brat-award this week goes to Iran, who've announced that they want to build another nuclear power plant, while still looking for the 'on' button of their first one. I could give you more examples, but my guess is you get the general idea: Kids with guns is a bad thing, but kids with nuclear weapons, hordes of religious fanatics and/or a strong diplomatic relationship with the world's most powerful and evil country (I'm not talking Switzerland here, folks) is just plain crazy. Add in the fact that all responsible adults seem to have left the planet permanently, and it leaves all of us with two choices: Stay awake at night and tremble with fear, or fuck it and try to make the best of the time that's left.
What's that you're saying? You're thinking about the future? Damn it all, haven't you been paying attention? Go for a swim, and if that doesn't clear your head, why not go shopping? And feel free to sound off on a random internet forum.
Yes, the future looks fantastic. Remember to save your money, your children will need them to get the toxic spill out of their hair (using a special shampoo, produced under license from the Coca-Cola Company).
Oh, all right. Rant complete. Have a nap. (Zen fire ze missiles!)
What's that you're saying? You're thinking about the future? Damn it all, haven't you been paying attention? Go for a swim, and if that doesn't clear your head, why not go shopping? And feel free to sound off on a random internet forum.
Yes, the future looks fantastic. Remember to save your money, your children will need them to get the toxic spill out of their hair (using a special shampoo, produced under license from the Coca-Cola Company).
Oh, all right. Rant complete. Have a nap. (Zen fire ze missiles!)
November 27, 2005
The Truth is Outer (part 1 perhaps)
Remember that old sci-fi/horror show, the X-files? Remember how cool you thought it was that there finally was a serious show about aliens and ghosts and other strange stuff? And after a while, how you were able to see through each episode completely; that Mulder and Scully would survive, that they would never learn anything of value, that each episode would end with Scully giving a completely ludicrous scientific explanation on the events of today's episode and then something would happen to make her go "WTF?"?
Around the time I got access to the channel broadcasting the X-files, another sci-fi show made its way on to norwegian television. This show you may not remember, it was called 'the Outer Limits'. Here there were no safeguards, all bets were off, there was no such thing as a predictable outcome, and noone was guaranteed survival. Why? Because OL was an anthology show. Each episode a self-contained story, trying to trick and twist the viewers mind as much as their budget would allow. All sceptics beware: I was about 14 years old at the time, and hadn't really seen that much genre shows. I was also completely unaware of wonders such as the Twilight Zone or Tales from the Crypt, but that's irrelevant.
The Outer Limits (the 90s one, not the original) only got one full season on norwegian television (the original got none, in case you were wondering), but due to trickery and obscure, dark magicks I have, over the years, gotten to see a lot more. And every damn time I watch it, I get the same thought in my barely-functoning brain: Why on earth aren't any norwegians making stuff like this?
More on this later, perhaps, if these thoughts remain (unlikely, but worth a shot). But now I am going to bed. It is late; my chin is getting hairy. Also, watch in awe as my pun powers grow.
Around the time I got access to the channel broadcasting the X-files, another sci-fi show made its way on to norwegian television. This show you may not remember, it was called 'the Outer Limits'. Here there were no safeguards, all bets were off, there was no such thing as a predictable outcome, and noone was guaranteed survival. Why? Because OL was an anthology show. Each episode a self-contained story, trying to trick and twist the viewers mind as much as their budget would allow. All sceptics beware: I was about 14 years old at the time, and hadn't really seen that much genre shows. I was also completely unaware of wonders such as the Twilight Zone or Tales from the Crypt, but that's irrelevant.
The Outer Limits (the 90s one, not the original) only got one full season on norwegian television (the original got none, in case you were wondering), but due to trickery and obscure, dark magicks I have, over the years, gotten to see a lot more. And every damn time I watch it, I get the same thought in my barely-functoning brain: Why on earth aren't any norwegians making stuff like this?
More on this later, perhaps, if these thoughts remain (unlikely, but worth a shot). But now I am going to bed. It is late; my chin is getting hairy. Also, watch in awe as my pun powers grow.
November 21, 2005
A quick fix of religion
God-bashing goodness from Penn Jillette in this essay. Read and rejoice. A quote to whet your appetite: "Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word "elephant" includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?"
And for all you lazy bastards out there: Relax, it's a short one.
And for all you lazy bastards out there: Relax, it's a short one.
Boring facts about penguins
Prehistoric penguins were unable to fly. They could swim, however, and that's probably how they've survived.
The colours of the penguin (black and white) serve as camouflage.
Penguins have no external genitalia. This sounds sad. But then again, since they don't have hands, they couldn't have done anything fun with them anyway.
Penguins are evil and about to take over the world. Run away. Now.
The colours of the penguin (black and white) serve as camouflage.
Penguins have no external genitalia. This sounds sad. But then again, since they don't have hands, they couldn't have done anything fun with them anyway.
Penguins are evil and about to take over the world. Run away. Now.
November 14, 2005
Life is hard but it's just too bad, man
Yeah yeah, no posts, and no excuses this time. I'm just lazy. Anything resembling coherent thought seem to be harder to come by at the age of 24. As I get older I only seem to grow angrier and more intolerant. Where is the wisdom that I was promised with age? Where are the life-changing experiences I heard so much about when I was younger? Anyway, some shout-outs to the people who saturday 6th made my view of life slightly less grim for a second or two: You know who you are. You know I'm grateful.
Alright, so that last part there was a blatant rip-off from Blur. Did I mention how I feel even less creative than last year? But that's what it's all about, right? Not being complacent with the way things are, not being pleased with oneself, isn't that supposed to be necessary for personal growth? One year of a persons life is just time, after all, unless one actually learns something in that period. And very few people do. To the people who refuses to awaken, those who considers this news story (about a Norwegian football player with a cold (that's soccer to any raving lunatics, or Americans if you prefer, who should happen to stumble upon this blog)) worthy of the front page of Norway's most popular "news"paper: Stop stealing berries from my dad's garden. Also, sharpen up: As much as I hate to admit it, the world can't do without you. You are the reason it's all so fucked. Think about that.
And if that's not enough to get that old, underemployed brain working, consider this: Someone will rape and kill you and your family unless the world changes. If it doesn't happen by itself, I will hire somebody. But enough angry ranting, let's bring in the joy for a moment. Because:
The quality of my life is about to skyrocket. The reason? This wonderful gadget. Yes, music really is that important. Here's the proof: A blind couple making quite uplifting music. And have you heard of these guys? Their unnamed album (you know, that white one) is one of the best ever made. And while we're on the subject, why is it that popular music so often sucks? Is it any wonder it's all going down the drain? Do you believe me if I say that someone asked me, just the other day, who the Beatles are? I thought not. But I swear it's the truth. No, really. I'm not saying everone should like them (even though I will think you're a moron if you don't), but one should at least recognize their impact on modern music. Oh, wait. Did I just say no more ranting? Bah, let's be honest: That's what you come here for.
(The author would like to apologize for any badly written, unfunny, or just plain rude parts of this post. Well, not really.)
Alright, so that last part there was a blatant rip-off from Blur. Did I mention how I feel even less creative than last year? But that's what it's all about, right? Not being complacent with the way things are, not being pleased with oneself, isn't that supposed to be necessary for personal growth? One year of a persons life is just time, after all, unless one actually learns something in that period. And very few people do. To the people who refuses to awaken, those who considers this news story (about a Norwegian football player with a cold (that's soccer to any raving lunatics, or Americans if you prefer, who should happen to stumble upon this blog)) worthy of the front page of Norway's most popular "news"paper: Stop stealing berries from my dad's garden. Also, sharpen up: As much as I hate to admit it, the world can't do without you. You are the reason it's all so fucked. Think about that.
And if that's not enough to get that old, underemployed brain working, consider this: Someone will rape and kill you and your family unless the world changes. If it doesn't happen by itself, I will hire somebody. But enough angry ranting, let's bring in the joy for a moment. Because:
The quality of my life is about to skyrocket. The reason? This wonderful gadget. Yes, music really is that important. Here's the proof: A blind couple making quite uplifting music. And have you heard of these guys? Their unnamed album (you know, that white one) is one of the best ever made. And while we're on the subject, why is it that popular music so often sucks? Is it any wonder it's all going down the drain? Do you believe me if I say that someone asked me, just the other day, who the Beatles are? I thought not. But I swear it's the truth. No, really. I'm not saying everone should like them (even though I will think you're a moron if you don't), but one should at least recognize their impact on modern music. Oh, wait. Did I just say no more ranting? Bah, let's be honest: That's what you come here for.
(The author would like to apologize for any badly written, unfunny, or just plain rude parts of this post. Well, not really.)
October 24, 2005
MovieMania!
(Post presented here as originally concocted late last night, when Blogger refused to cooperate)
Once in a while, I thoroughly enjoy watching a movie. Most of you know the feeling; that a great movie is precious, and when you see one you think to yourself: 'Damn! I really ought to own this one (but first I need a job).' If you don't know this feeling, you are probably a pre-programmed zombie devoid of any actual opinions. If you find yourself often thinking, 'wow, those CGI explosions are really cool', or if you thought that the plot twists in Wild Things were pretty clever (here's a link, since you've (hopefully) forgotten that stinking pile of dreadfulness), please sit down in a corner and shut up until the end of this post.
Resuming original thoughts: Once in a while, they say. Now and then. You don't see this sort of celluloid art often. It is the law of averages (or something); to find a great movie, you need to sit through 5 decent ones and 20 dreadful ones.
Well, stick that law up my arse, 'cause I've had one of my best movie months in a very, very long time. In no particular order:
The House of Sand and Fog - alright, so it's been over a month. Still, with work and all, I've seen so few movies lately that I'm allowed to cheat. If you don't like it, go make your own blog and stick it up your arse.
Sideways - pretty straight-forward, but still immensely entertaining. How come depression is so fun in the movies, when in reality it's not?
Kung-fu Hustle - crazy fun, violent and beautiful.
Shaolin Soccer - not nearly as beautiful (nor as violent) as Hustle, but way more laughs. Chow is cooler than a billion Jackie Chans with their heads up their arses.
The Royal Tenenbaums - oh, okay, so I've seen it before. It's still borderline genius and funnier than all the minions of hell crammed up your grandmothers arse.
Lost in Translation - funny, beautiful, and calm like the ocean. The calm ocean, that is.
American Splendor - funny and touching. I'm starting to run out of adjectives here.
Mystic River - actually a bit disappointing, mystery-wise, but the actors are cracking and it's damn good in most of the ways that count.
Next up is the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, a Very Long Engagement and hopefully even more Murray madness with Broken Flowers and Life Under Water. Plus, again hopefully, Hitchhiker's Guide, the two new Burton films, Violent Cop, Oldboy, Stalker and a number of others. I feel like I'm on a roll.
I couldn't be bothered providing links for the entire list, just go search IMDB if you're curious. Lazy sons of bitches.
Word of the day: Arse.
By the way, I just saw one of the stupidest things I have seen in a while. First off, some background: Because of a rather gross turn of events, I removed the trash can from it's usual spot under the sink and washed it. Thinking it would dry sooner, I left it on the warm, cozy bathroom floor, informing my fellow residents that such an action had been taken. Apparently, one of them got the sudden urge to throw something away, which is, of course, understandable in today's society. Naturally, he put the trashcan back where it belongs and neatly filled it with a plastic bag. Wait a second.. actually, he did neither of those two things. He just sorta stuck a bag in it, which leads me to the conclusion that somewhere in this aparment lives a very lazy man. And this time it's not me.
Once in a while, I thoroughly enjoy watching a movie. Most of you know the feeling; that a great movie is precious, and when you see one you think to yourself: 'Damn! I really ought to own this one (but first I need a job).' If you don't know this feeling, you are probably a pre-programmed zombie devoid of any actual opinions. If you find yourself often thinking, 'wow, those CGI explosions are really cool', or if you thought that the plot twists in Wild Things were pretty clever (here's a link, since you've (hopefully) forgotten that stinking pile of dreadfulness), please sit down in a corner and shut up until the end of this post.
Resuming original thoughts: Once in a while, they say. Now and then. You don't see this sort of celluloid art often. It is the law of averages (or something); to find a great movie, you need to sit through 5 decent ones and 20 dreadful ones.
Well, stick that law up my arse, 'cause I've had one of my best movie months in a very, very long time. In no particular order:
The House of Sand and Fog - alright, so it's been over a month. Still, with work and all, I've seen so few movies lately that I'm allowed to cheat. If you don't like it, go make your own blog and stick it up your arse.
Sideways - pretty straight-forward, but still immensely entertaining. How come depression is so fun in the movies, when in reality it's not?
Kung-fu Hustle - crazy fun, violent and beautiful.
Shaolin Soccer - not nearly as beautiful (nor as violent) as Hustle, but way more laughs. Chow is cooler than a billion Jackie Chans with their heads up their arses.
The Royal Tenenbaums - oh, okay, so I've seen it before. It's still borderline genius and funnier than all the minions of hell crammed up your grandmothers arse.
Lost in Translation - funny, beautiful, and calm like the ocean. The calm ocean, that is.
American Splendor - funny and touching. I'm starting to run out of adjectives here.
Mystic River - actually a bit disappointing, mystery-wise, but the actors are cracking and it's damn good in most of the ways that count.
Next up is the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, a Very Long Engagement and hopefully even more Murray madness with Broken Flowers and Life Under Water. Plus, again hopefully, Hitchhiker's Guide, the two new Burton films, Violent Cop, Oldboy, Stalker and a number of others. I feel like I'm on a roll.
I couldn't be bothered providing links for the entire list, just go search IMDB if you're curious. Lazy sons of bitches.
Word of the day: Arse.
By the way, I just saw one of the stupidest things I have seen in a while. First off, some background: Because of a rather gross turn of events, I removed the trash can from it's usual spot under the sink and washed it. Thinking it would dry sooner, I left it on the warm, cozy bathroom floor, informing my fellow residents that such an action had been taken. Apparently, one of them got the sudden urge to throw something away, which is, of course, understandable in today's society. Naturally, he put the trashcan back where it belongs and neatly filled it with a plastic bag. Wait a second.. actually, he did neither of those two things. He just sorta stuck a bag in it, which leads me to the conclusion that somewhere in this aparment lives a very lazy man. And this time it's not me.
October 19, 2005
Welcome back, me
Hello all. It's been quite a while. For the last two weeks I've been living at work, as previously mentioned. My life, as I knew it, completely out of reach, refusing to wait for my return. And now, the struggle to reclaim it has barely begun. I have had some not especially exciting adventures during that time, however, and of course I'm going to share them with you. But for now, let me just welcome myself back into the real world. Hello, me.
October 03, 2005
A hard day's night
For the next two weeks I will be living at a Norwegian hypermarket called Smart Club. I will eat there, shit there, but most importantly, make a wad of cash there. Yes, not-so-dear readers, I have once again joined the ranks of the employed, and for approxomately 144 hours spread over 12 days I will earn the dough needed to salt my eggs. In case you flunked math, that's 12 hours each and every day, hence the living and shitting mentioned above.
Today was the longest one, checking in at 14 hours. Ouch. So if the blog updates become a bit random the next couple of weeks, you now know the reason. 'Nuff said, off to bed.
Today was the longest one, checking in at 14 hours. Ouch. So if the blog updates become a bit random the next couple of weeks, you now know the reason. 'Nuff said, off to bed.
September 29, 2005
Celebrate the modern end
First of all: If you are situated in Norway, I hope you caught the first episode of the new Doctor Who series yesterday. It's very entertaining, but in a good way.
Second: I missed the 5-year celebration of the Palestinian intifada yesterday, because I went shopping. How's that for irony?
Second: I missed the 5-year celebration of the Palestinian intifada yesterday, because I went shopping. How's that for irony?
September 24, 2005
September 23, 2005
Midnight Rambling
I have decided it is time to rise up and claim that thing which rightfully belongs to me; that thing called respect. Far too long I have muddled around like a dog cooking dinner for its fleas. Never again shall I grant favours to those who demand them from me without first asking, in a small and squeaky voice, "may I have some respect, please?".
My dignity is so cheap, I'm practically giving it away. Come get it while it's hot!
My dignity is so cheap, I'm practically giving it away. Come get it while it's hot!
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