Film Industry of Ultimate Darkness

Let us talk about the state of Norwegian cinema. Keep in mind, I have yet to see some of the most critically acclaimed films of the last few years, sure. But I have seen the other most critically acclaimed films, because strangely, they're all most critically acclaimed. Oh my, all you foreigners may be thinking, does that mean that Norway is on a cinematic roll? If you listen to the critics, our film industry just can't go wrong. All our writers and directors are geniouses, they're shitting out gold. Could this really be the case?

Short answer: No. Long answer: Fuck no! Given the amount of pure crap that's getting good reviews, I'm thinking there's two possibilities: Either the critics are actually throwing dice or they're just plain retarded. Which brings me to my next point: Norwegian film critics are retarded. I've seen critically acclaimed Norwegian films which looks like something Uwe Boll pieced together in college. Even our good films aren't very good. But why? What makes Norwegian film so second-rate? What the hell is wrong with these people?

I will try to shed some light on this, but not right now. In my next post (yeah, I know, you've all heard that before. But this time I mean it! Really!) I will try to examine a few Norwegian films that got it wrong, and at least one that got it right. Wait, is that the smell of a bold, new move by me'n'my blog, the sweet smell of ambition?

No it is not. It's just me, fed up and bitching as usual. The thing is, we did get it right a few times. The Excellent Norwegian Film Thing is not just a myth. However, the Norwegian Film Critic With a Shred of Anything Even Remotely Resembling Intelligence, is. And how, then, are we, the audience, supposed to know what films we should see? But anyway, I know this was a shoddy update. I promise to do better next time. See ya later, niblets.

EDIT: Jesus Christ (and my other readers, as well), have a look at this. The Spanish King of Ultimate Darkness (non-official title) shoots drunk bear. Is this a common pasttime in Spain? Getting animals drunk and shooting them? On a completely different note, what colour is the Colgate Total Whitening toothpaste?

You guessed it, it's blue. What a strange world.