Last Call

Now I'm sitting in my soon-to-be-ex-apartment, listening to Gorillaz using only the speakers God (AKA Dell) gave my laptop. In a way it reminds me of the music from older, PC speaker-only games, only a bit too rich for it's own good. But anyway, tomorrow I have to return my keys, so now I'm picking up the few pieces left and dragging them to my new apartment, which is rather nice. The biggest drawback is the internet situation, which remains somewhat unclear for the time being. So don't expect any immediate updates (not that you did anyway, right?), but make sure to check back in a week or so.

Thought of the day: Just because we think we exist, does that make it true? I know, I know, it's not the most original idea, but I have to leave you bastards with something until I return, right? 'Cause return I shall, and an impact on the world it will have. Maybe just a small impact, extremely tiny even, but hey, I'll take whatever I can get.

What Women Want (with no Mel Gibson in sight, thank Monkey)

I'm finished with my first week (AKA 2 days) at work and have become immensely tired. Alright, so work in general is exhausting, I get that. But can someone please tell me why, after sitting down for several hours, I'm tired in my legs? To me, at least, that doesn't make a goddamn lick of sense. But then again, I don't feel very bright after repeating the same sentences 69 times.

Also, after spending my breaks at work with mostly girls today, I can proudly say that I've uncovered the truth about women. Yes, gentlemen, I have solved the puzzle which men worldwide have tried to crack throughout all of history. Actually, it's dissappoitingly simple, and I know some of you will smack your foreheads in a minute and cry out "Of course! I knew it!". Which of course you didn't, but that's OK. So now, let me give all of you the answer to the question 'what are women thinking'..

I hope you're paying attention? Good, 'cause here it comes:

Cock.

No need to thank me (although some money would be nice). Just venture out into the great ole world, armed to the teeth with this new, not-so-revolutionary knowledge, and give them what they want. And then all wars will end, and everyone will live happily for the rest of the weekend.

As for me, I have some serious relaxing to do. I think I can hear Knights of the Old Republic calling in the distance.. calling for some brave soul to step up and destroy the whole fucking universe. Today, I'm that soul, so pray for your loved ones before Darth Sleeper comes knocking.

MOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! (or, if you prefer, ROFL)

Back! And with a new, exciting link

Whaddya know? Now I'm a bastard and getting paid for it. If I call you, please don't hang up. Because I'm giving you the chance of a lifetime..

..or something. Anyways, I've joined the evil ranks of telemarketers now, and although it's not the lowest of the low (it's for a good cause. No, really) it's not exactly the most honorable of professions. But did I mention that it's for a good cause? Besides the fact that I, too, need to eat, I mean.

Before I run, let me welcome the new link to the left, which leads to Bobleboks, an illustration and design company. It's a very small company, but since when did size matter anyway? The owner (and only employee) is a friend of mine, and he assures me he's not into heavy drugs (well, actually I never asked), despite evidence to the contrary. Have a look for yourself, it's mighty fine work.

And so it came to pass that I really had to get ready for work. But rest assured, from now on I'll do a better job at updating this blog. Really, I promise. You've got it in writing now. And as we all know, when something is in writing, it must be true.

Life, or something similar

Just thought I should chime in, since it's been awhile. I'm back, and I'm mostly unharmed. My vacation, in brief: The reunion was disappointingly uneventful. Sure, people disappeared mysteriously and neighbours reported strange lights in the sky, but you know.. there just wasn't any action. It was nice and all, but nothing worth reporting, or even exaggerating. So there.

I am planning to write something rude about Bob Geldof and his grandmother, so there's always a chance I might do that. Also: Finally saw brazilian masterpiece City of God, which you should go see immediately. Spent eleven straight hours watching the American remake of the Kingdom, which you don't really need to see. And I had another rather brutal confrontation with Mother Nature. More on that later. Probably.

I also watched a number of movies (none of them porn) and learned this: Where I'm from, people are so bored, they torture each other for fun (link in Norwegian). Or they torture others, anyway. Ladies and gents, I present to you: Humanity! (mild, unimpressed applause)

Like that big man with the missing brain says, "I'll be back". And soon.