By the Power of Santa Claus

Exams is on. I'm entering two intense weeks of all-out studying. No depression this time around, though, I'm expecting things to go quite smoothly. The only problem is being constantly tired in my eyes and my brain, but hey: Been there before, yeah? And in two short weeks it'll be over.

But enough of that. Soon, the dreaded Season of Psycho Shoppers is upon us, and my guess is you're already trying to find that perfect gift.. well, either that, or you're trying to do a Neo and realize the truth: There is no christmas. Which, as we all know, is wrong. But no matter, because your god and idol (that would be me) is here to save the day (and your soul; but I don't have time for that right now). This year, you will buy Carnivale, the best television series ever, for all your friends and family. It's scientifically proven to be the perfect gift, and the ones you get it for will worship the ground you've trod on forever (and maybe yourself as well, but no promises). Not bad, eh? And if that fact doesn't convince you, allow me to make a few more arguments:
1. It is the best television series ever made.
2. Buying the first two seasons on DVD is the best way to convince HBO to order more seasons, since it was cruelly cancelled last summer. Make no mistake, more seasons of Carnivale would be the best thing since Jesus. Probably even better.
3. You can wear it to parties and it will make you look suave (lie).
4. It's an infinitely better gift than that lame one you were thinking of.
5. You'll go to Heaven when you die (probably true).

In summation, your mantra this christmas will be this: Buy Carnivale. Oh, and did I mention it's the best television series ever made, objectively speaking? Some of you may be thinking, how can it objectively be the best anything? But those who've been paying attention already know the answer. Normal rules apply; if you don't like Carnivale, then what does that make you? A moron. And you don't want to be a moron, now, do you?

I choo-choo-choose you

Um. I thought that the Democrat victory in the US deserved somewhat of a mention. But, now that I've done that, I'm not sure there's much more to say. I mean, yay, I guess.. but what is up with those Americans anyway? Will they make up their fucking mind and make some coherent choices, for once? After all, they did re-elect Dubya. After four fucking years with the bastard, they still didn't throw him down a well, like they should have. But now they want a change? Maybe they're just slow. Maybe they should listen to the rest of the world before making decisions next time. Because they do realize that their choices affect the rest of us as well, right?

Maybe things will change for the slightly better now, and maybe not. But I'm left wondering whether this is a babystep in the right direction, or just another random election. I'm thinking the latter. It might be that I'm just pessimistic, but then again, I'm not paid to be an optimist. Actually, I'm not paid at all, but that's another subject entirely.

Welcome to the rest home

Here I am, one year older and just as useless. Just thought I should drop by, since trying to actually follow up on my promise (y'know, the Norwegian film thing) ended up keeping me from even touching this blog for, let's see, nearly three weeks now. So, not only am I going back on my promise, but I'm also promising not to promise anything here ever again. If you have a complaint to make about this, please wrap it around your penis and stuff it up some dogs bottom.
Anyway, following my Birthday of Ultimate Darkness I've started feeling old again, as I usually do around this time of year. But this time, I want to help others avoid becoming as miserable and cynical as me, so that's why I'm going to dispense some sage advice. Kids, this is from the guy that's old enough to have a beard but still, mysteriously, is unable to grow one:

A silly man once said; "Time is short and flies fast". Well, the man may be silly, but in this he was right (duh). Therefore, it is important to make the most out of the short time we are given. To put it another way, if there's a drug you still haven't done, try it. If you've never killed, raped, or pillaged, do that also. Build bombs and blow stuff up. Laugh at the physically and mentally impaired. Masturbate in public. You know, live a little. And then, when you're done living it up, kill yourself while there's still time. If suicide was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for you.

Before I go, I also have something for the people who are older than me: Face it, you're old. I mean, you're older than me, and I'm old. Old old old.

Cue evil laugh and rubbing of hands.