Here I am, one year older and just as useless. Just thought I should drop by, since trying to actually follow up on my promise (y'know, the Norwegian film thing) ended up keeping me from even touching this blog for, let's see, nearly three weeks now. So, not only am I going back on my promise, but I'm also promising not to promise anything here ever again. If you have a complaint to make about this, please wrap it around your penis and stuff it up some dogs bottom.
Anyway, following my Birthday of Ultimate Darkness I've started feeling old again, as I usually do around this time of year. But this time, I want to help others avoid becoming as miserable and cynical as me, so that's why I'm going to dispense some sage advice. Kids, this is from the guy that's old enough to have a beard but still, mysteriously, is unable to grow one:
A silly man once said; "Time is short and flies fast". Well, the man may be silly, but in this he was right (duh). Therefore, it is important to make the most out of the short time we are given. To put it another way, if there's a drug you still haven't done, try it. If you've never killed, raped, or pillaged, do that also. Build bombs and blow stuff up. Laugh at the physically and mentally impaired. Masturbate in public. You know, live a little. And then, when you're done living it up, kill yourself while there's still time. If suicide was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for you.
Before I go, I also have something for the people who are older than me: Face it, you're old. I mean, you're older than me, and I'm old. Old old old.
Cue evil laugh and rubbing of hands.
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