The Truth, uncensored

Gather round, kids, it's Quasi-Philosophy Hour.

Listen: People say "To each his own," and "I need to take care of myself before I am able to take care of others," and "I don't have the energy, my batteries need recharging." Listen, children, because what they are saying is this: "Stop bothering me. I am the world. Fuck off." This is the truth: There is no such thing as Surplus Energy. Everyone has needs, and these needs are too great for themselves to manage. From this we can learn several things. The first, and most important thing is this: Put Other People First. Naturally, this means sacrifice. It also means that you will need people, Other People, who may be hard to find, depending on your luck. The lucky ones begin their life with these Other People looking out for them. Others stumble upon them by accident. The rest will have to search, long and hard. Some may choose the Easy Way, often referred to as Religion. But this I believe: Religion is a Lie. There is no Easy Way.
Enough talk about Other People for now, you probably know this already anyway. Nature has already placed it in your mind (even if it's sometimes hard to find), so as to ensure you won't give up without trying.

Something else can be learned, namely that Individuality is both a Lie and a Truth. It is a lie if you worship it, but it is true when you value it.
And lastly, at least for now, one can learn about Meaning. Now, children, I need you to bear with me, because this is somewhat of a leap in logic: Putting Other People First is not a goal in itself, but means to an end. It's a tool that mankind will need to evolve, just as fire and hammers and whatnot before it. What is more, we cannot evolve further while stuck in the loop of our survival instincts. People have been concerned about their dinner, their bloodline and their physical welfare since, well, always. Only when freed from these obligations, only when we're living in Luxury and giving our very own survival the finger, is it possible to discover just what the hell we're supposed to be doing (if anything).
I am aware that this is impossible, which is why it doesn't really matter, but, boys and girls, you also need to be aware of this: Luxury is not the same as Apathy (nor is it an excuse for it), and it is not Surplus Energy, either. It is merely a state of mind, and impossible to reach unless you have Other People looking out for you. Which, in turn, means you have to look out for Other People. And so the wonderful (or hideous, depending on your point of view) cycle begins.

And so the lesson ends, with many questions. You may ask: Who are these Other People, and where can I find them? Just what is it we're supposed to be doing, then? What the fuck are you babbling about, anyway? I will answer your questions in the very spirit of Angry-La, like so: Don't know, don't really care.

One more thing: Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate that sort of thing, and Have a Nice Weekend to those of you who don't.

Adventure Waits for No Man (or elf)

My grand return to World of Warcraft turned out to be a bit disappointing. I had expected horns and fireworks, and a collective sigh of relief that things were finally back to normal, everyone could let go of their dreadful longing (for the me) and start enjoying the game again.

The reason this didn't happen is, of course, because WoW never really stopped when I left, not that many people noticed, and in addition I have now started a completely new level 1 character on a whole different realm. Nevertheless, another dream of greatness shattered, in the most brutal of ways: By simply not caring.

Besides that, it was fun. Slower than I remembered, but still.

Harry Potter, professional bully

As you've likely guessed from the headline, it's time to talk about the deeper machinations of the mind. This stems from a discussion I had with a friend the other day. We were watching Harry Pothead and the Stoned Philosopher when she suddenly cried out: This is crap. Well, she didn't say it like that, and besides, she speaks norwegish, but still. Her main source of aggression was the blatantly obvious way in which the characters are presented: The bad brats are cowardly and stupid, while Potter & friends are kind, courageous, succesful, violent (but only when they 'need' to be) and petty. Wait a second. Petty? Oh, yes. The nice kids love nothing better than seeing their rivals get beaten and humiliated. My friend continued her tirade by saying how kids should't be exposed to this and how she would keep her own children from seeing it.

That's really where I chimed in (arguing that kids are capable of at least some thought), but that's beside the point. The Potter series is, as far as I'm concerned, quite harmless in its obvious escapism. Besides that, I agree with her completely, and had the same thoughts myself the first time I saw it. But let's leave Harry to his evil schemings and talk about something far more serious. Today, you see, I read the newspaper (and this is where you all go, "oooh!"). It told me that 18% of Norwegians between 18 and 25 years thinks torture is acceptable and a valuable tool in the skirmishes against terrorism. When every damn military intelligence expert will tell you that torture does not work, how in the pus-soaked hell have people gotten this impression? Yes, 24, I'm looking at you. The wildly overrated TV series throws torture at the viewer as often as possible, as many of you probably know. But the worst thing is, it's the good guys who're doing it. And they always get the information they need.

Of course, 24 is not alone in this ridiculous point of view. Basically, Hollywood (and most other parts of western culture) are telling us this: If the Bad People (tm) are violent, we, the Good Guys (tm), need to be even more violent. Violence is key, violence is God in western society. To me, this is far more disturbing than some kid who fights evil by waving his penis, excuse me, his 'magic wand', and plays airborne rugby without having to adjust his glasses once.

Have nerd, will trade

Seems like it's open season on nerds these days. First, go read this. And then, let me follow up with some colour commentary: Since the relative success of the football nerds, apparently Norwegian TV execs are desperate for other strange things they can get nerds to do. If you close your eyes, you can, mayhaps, see them in your mind; wondering, what places haven't nerds been before? The answer, of course, is blindingly obvious: The bosom of a beautiful woman. It's a concept almost mind-bending in its ingenious simplicity, yet it sounds about as fresh and innovative as a modern-day Dallas. But the logic of the executives is flawed, they're forgetting one thing: A beautiful woman is far more common than a quality nerd. They're in grave danger of treading well-worn waters when they're asking the females to apply, as well. Why not just grab a bunch of nerds and toss them into a den of sex-crazy strippers? And how about they replace the nerds with world-weary, physically deformed dwarves (preferrably intelligent ones)? Now that's a show I'd like to watch.

My guess is they'll get quite a few candidates for this one, though. For all their combined intelligence, the football nerds still don't seem to grasp the fact that they're being ridiculed on national TV. But neither does the average viewer, apparently.

Celebrate the Randomness

What do you know, after each aggressive, pessimistic post there must follow complete nonsense. This time it comes in the form of Wikipedias graveyard of silliness, which should warm the hearts of everybody, especially fans of absurd humor.

Mankind Behaving Badly

Global peace is just around the corner! Or maybe not. Although it's easy to, once again, blame Israel for making an unnecessary contribution to world chaos, reality is as always not that simple. Actually, their behaviour in this case resembles the actions of a spoiled child more than a psychopathic killer (which is usually the case). And on that same note, the sulky brat-award this week goes to Iran, who've announced that they want to build another nuclear power plant, while still looking for the 'on' button of their first one. I could give you more examples, but my guess is you get the general idea: Kids with guns is a bad thing, but kids with nuclear weapons, hordes of religious fanatics and/or a strong diplomatic relationship with the world's most powerful and evil country (I'm not talking Switzerland here, folks) is just plain crazy. Add in the fact that all responsible adults seem to have left the planet permanently, and it leaves all of us with two choices: Stay awake at night and tremble with fear, or fuck it and try to make the best of the time that's left.

What's that you're saying? You're thinking about the future? Damn it all, haven't you been paying attention? Go for a swim, and if that doesn't clear your head, why not go shopping? And feel free to sound off on a random internet forum.
Yes, the future looks fantastic. Remember to save your money, your children will need them to get the toxic spill out of their hair (using a special shampoo, produced under license from the Coca-Cola Company).
Oh, all right. Rant complete. Have a nap. (Zen fire ze missiles!)