Homosexual Healing

Allow me to explain the situation.

In Norway, a law was recently passed. It's a nice law, tolerant and soft-spoken, a bit naive perhaps, but hey, we all make mistakes. I won't claim to know the details of it, but I know the gist, and the gist is this: Gay couples are now allowed to get married and have children, either through adoption or artificial insemination. Now, in a sane society, we would all go "gee, that's about time, good for them," and move on with our lives. No big whoop, right? But the keyword here is sane: Houston, therein lies your fucking problem.

Turns out a lot of people are bleeding morons; who would have guessed? But my beef, for once, does not lie with the Christian nutcases who, for some reason or another, don't like gay people or want them in their church: So you hate homos, or blacks, or jews, whatever, I can dig it. You're empty-headed bastards, you have the right to say and mean what you want, and that is, after all, one of the virtues of our society: Assholes have the same rights, the same freedom, as the rest of us.

But the people who really get in my windpipe, the ones who make me choke and spit blood out of sheer rage, are the faux liberals who flatly refuse to have coherent opinions. Those who're blind to the fact that one's opinion is not formed on a case-by-case basis, but as principles. The ones who go "it's not that I don't like gays, but think of the consequences!". FYI, the "consequences" they're talking about are the artificial insemination bit. So their argument is that this should not be a part of the new law, that it should be considered a separate case.. wait, someone's whispering something in my ear. One second. Right. Right. What? That's not what they mean? But what do they mean, invisible voice of fucking reason? They oppose the law based on this sperm-thing? They honestly think gays should not be allowed to have children? But they don't hate them? What? WHAT?

I mean, seriously, not making a joke here, but have these people actually got a brain? In working order? Let's go over that again: They don't think homosexuals should be discriminated, yet they oppose the law. Their reasoning is that artifical insemination is dangerous and unethical. But wait, why do they oppose the entire law, and not just the insemination part? I'm confused. Could it be that they're actually pro-discrimination, I wonder? No wait, that was a lie. I don't wonder at all. These people are so fucking afraid of being seen as politically incorrect, that they make up nonsensical arguments and, in the process, make themselves look dumb as mold instead. Want to discuss the ramifications of artificial insemination (god, I'm tired of writing that)? Go right ahead, but keep the poor fucking gays out of it, m'kay?

Argument: But think of the children! Two fathers? Two mothers? Oh, the humanity!
Answer: I wish people who keep sayng "think of the children" shut the hell up and started actually thinking of the children. A lot of children don't have parents. A lot of children have two dads and two moms, or one mom (alcoholic) and one dad (violent) or only one parent (in prison, perhaps). Besides, two dads are way better than one.

Argument: But it's not natural! There's a reason that only heterosexuals can have babies, you know. Mother Nature / God / Allah / Dreidel / The Big Holy Whatthefuckever intended it that way!
Answer: Man cannot fly. From nature's side, we should stay the fuck away from the skies. But we don't. We never do. We build planes, cars, trains. We make weapons, build skyscrapers, cure diseases. It goes like this: Man sees problem. Man uses technology to solve problem. Any questions? It's in our nature to overcome obstacles. Because of this ability, adaptability, we're the top species of this planet, by quite a margin.
This is no different.

Next week, on "Grow the Fuck Up or Get the Fuck Outta Here": A crash course in discrimination. Or something else. Who knows? Who cares?