Let us assume, for a moment, that God exists. No, let's go further than that: Let's pretend that I am God (really not much of a stretch). I have just created Man. I feel quite content with myself. Maybe I'm patting myself on the back, saying, "Wow, Me, that was a clever one!". This does not last long, of course. Because Man starts bickering, and bullying each other, and I'm all, "wait a second, this wasn't the plan!" and I start trying to fix it. Floods, plagues, earthquakes, disco, I'm pulling all the stops in order to get rid of the bastards, but somehow, that's always the ones coming out on top. So, naturally, I'm now thinking: "Well, I tried. Now fuck this, I'm outta here!" After that I'd probably just retire, or maybe start over on some other planet far far away.
This is presuming I'm a nice God. Because, if even someone who's omnipotent (me) couldn't manage to weed out the bastards, they're here to stay. While not the main point of this post, my example also serves as a giant "fuck you" to all the "final solution"-believers out there. You cannot fight evil with evil. But I digress.
What then, if I'm a more human-like God? What if Man really were made in My image? Think about it: We humans sure like our soaps. The stories we tell and enjoy the most are the ones with lots of conflict and misery, and we often like the bad guys best, as well. In this case God would be no exception. So it would be natural for Me (still God, in case you'd forgotten) to build the world as a giant soap opera stage. I start it simple, with cavemen bashing each other in the head. But my need for intrigue grows, so I begin complicating things. Soon the stories grow, the conflict intensifies and the stage becomes truly epic, with empires falling, religious wars, weapons of mass destruction and economic collapse.
In one episode, some amazing discoveries are made, where the past truly comes out to haunt the religious leaders (the dinosaurs). In another, a tiny angry man kickstarts a dormant war machine which in turn leads to the attempted genocide of the Jews. And quite recently (and quite brilliantly, if I may say so myself) a dane with good intentions starts riots across most of the muslim world when he prints some cartoons of one of my most prominent protagonists. My continuity is flawless, even though I sometimes have trouble with character development. But: I watch it, and I see that it is good. I am God, and I demand to be entertained!
Then again, it's obvious that I'm not especially fond of happy endings.
February 26, 2006
February 23, 2006
The Holy Drugs
Edit: I seem to have fucked up the font, so get your glasses out. I'm sure there's some cosmic irony in it, but I flatly refuse to learn from it.
Right, so if you are a member of the religious group O Centro Espirita Beneficente Uniao do Vegetal you are now allowed to do drugs, according to the US Supreme Court. Or, specifically, you're allowed to drink hoasca tea, containing the hallicugenic substance DMT, which is (usually) illegal, during ceremonies. Of course, these guys need some synthetic help in doing what religious people have been doing for thousand of years by sheer delusion, namely connecting with God. I suspect that this group will soon be getting quite the increase in it's congregation, although one may start to wonder why they didn't add in some more gods, connected to separate types of drugs, while they were at it. That way they could all worship their drug-Lord of choice, and the hardcore religious types could worship all at once, thereby earning enormous respect and maybe be given a place as a holy man. Anyway, this uplifting story has given me inspiration: I'm currently planning a religion in which we worship the holy Mary Jane. The only way to understand this holiest of holies is, of course, by smoking vast amounts of.. well, I'm sure you can figure out the rest. So, who's with me?
The Angry-La newsreel:
- Norwegians perform crappily in the Olympics, while the Swedes run off with one gold after another. Norway is currently moping about this and blaming it on our neighbours (and, probably, especially the muslim community there).
- The police have started arresting buyers of weed from the local drugstore. While the area in question has turned into a really unpleasant place to pass (unless you consider being surrounded by foreigners whose sole Norwegian vocabulary consists of the words "buy" and "drugs" a fun time), and the method probably will turn out to be most effective (since most of the buyers are hip people and students, not what you would call hardened criminals), it still is worrying. First off, we're talking about a crime that would be victimless had it not been a crime. Second, if the repercussions for the arrested go beyond a good scare, students will have to work more and study less to pay off the fines. And if they're going to jail, who will bring the fat fucks at the police station their pizza? But I won't cry out "police state" just yet. The morale, of course, is this: Help your fellow students get by; buy your weed from them instead of the shifty guy at the corner.
- A Norwegian soap called "Hotel Caesar" is being accused of destroying the minds of young children because it had a shotgun it one episode. If you ask me, violence is not what's going to make their brains rot, the crapness of the series will take care of that.
Right, so if you are a member of the religious group O Centro Espirita Beneficente Uniao do Vegetal you are now allowed to do drugs, according to the US Supreme Court. Or, specifically, you're allowed to drink hoasca tea, containing the hallicugenic substance DMT, which is (usually) illegal, during ceremonies. Of course, these guys need some synthetic help in doing what religious people have been doing for thousand of years by sheer delusion, namely connecting with God. I suspect that this group will soon be getting quite the increase in it's congregation, although one may start to wonder why they didn't add in some more gods, connected to separate types of drugs, while they were at it. That way they could all worship their drug-Lord of choice, and the hardcore religious types could worship all at once, thereby earning enormous respect and maybe be given a place as a holy man. Anyway, this uplifting story has given me inspiration: I'm currently planning a religion in which we worship the holy Mary Jane. The only way to understand this holiest of holies is, of course, by smoking vast amounts of.. well, I'm sure you can figure out the rest. So, who's with me?
The Angry-La newsreel:
- Norwegians perform crappily in the Olympics, while the Swedes run off with one gold after another. Norway is currently moping about this and blaming it on our neighbours (and, probably, especially the muslim community there).
- The police have started arresting buyers of weed from the local drugstore. While the area in question has turned into a really unpleasant place to pass (unless you consider being surrounded by foreigners whose sole Norwegian vocabulary consists of the words "buy" and "drugs" a fun time), and the method probably will turn out to be most effective (since most of the buyers are hip people and students, not what you would call hardened criminals), it still is worrying. First off, we're talking about a crime that would be victimless had it not been a crime. Second, if the repercussions for the arrested go beyond a good scare, students will have to work more and study less to pay off the fines. And if they're going to jail, who will bring the fat fucks at the police station their pizza? But I won't cry out "police state" just yet. The morale, of course, is this: Help your fellow students get by; buy your weed from them instead of the shifty guy at the corner.
- A Norwegian soap called "Hotel Caesar" is being accused of destroying the minds of young children because it had a shotgun it one episode. If you ask me, violence is not what's going to make their brains rot, the crapness of the series will take care of that.
February 13, 2006
Cartoons of Mass Destruction
I finally googled the Mohammad cartoons and my computer didn't explode, which was a relief. I like my computer, you see. It also made me realize that the embassy raiders didn't just overreact, they dug their own moral graves. Before the extremely violent reactions of last week, I was willingly dismissing the printing of said cartoons as stupid, at best. But now, well.. let's just go over some ground rules, shall we?
First of all, violence, or the threat of violence, is an unacceptable reaction to any situation except, sometimes, if you're acting in self-defense. Or if you're a ninja.
Second, if you subscribe to a religion then, by all means, follow it's rules. But never, ever, try and force others to respect it. If you wish to worship the Holy Cocoa Bean then go right ahead, but that doesn't mean I'll quit eating chocolate in public.
Third, freedom of speech is necessary for freedom of religion. Easy as that. Fight the one and you automatically fight the other.
However, the question remains: Was the cartoons offensive? As has repeatedly been pointed out by most intelligent beings: While Jyllands-Posten and all others who chose to print the drawings had an unquestionable right to do so, that doesn't make it smart (or tactful). After all, unless you're a ninja, you really shouldn't go around offending people for no good reason. So we return to the question: Offensive or no? Decide for yourself, if you haven't seen them; feel free to use the link provided at the start of this post. That page also includes the three fake drawings (the ones brought to the Middle East by a Danish imam without any trace of common sense), something you might find helps shed some light on the whole burning and pillaging thing.
If you want more, The Mohammed Image Archive is a collection of different depictions of the prophet throughout history, including Persian art and, of course, Danish cartoons. And these political cartoons discuss the controversy in far greater depth than any blog, even one as brilliant as my own, ever could. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand embassies.
Latest news: US vice-president Dick Cheney shoots a guy while hunting. Unofficial sources say Dick claimed the man "had some weapons of mass destruction under his coat".
First of all, violence, or the threat of violence, is an unacceptable reaction to any situation except, sometimes, if you're acting in self-defense. Or if you're a ninja.
Second, if you subscribe to a religion then, by all means, follow it's rules. But never, ever, try and force others to respect it. If you wish to worship the Holy Cocoa Bean then go right ahead, but that doesn't mean I'll quit eating chocolate in public.
Third, freedom of speech is necessary for freedom of religion. Easy as that. Fight the one and you automatically fight the other.
However, the question remains: Was the cartoons offensive? As has repeatedly been pointed out by most intelligent beings: While Jyllands-Posten and all others who chose to print the drawings had an unquestionable right to do so, that doesn't make it smart (or tactful). After all, unless you're a ninja, you really shouldn't go around offending people for no good reason. So we return to the question: Offensive or no? Decide for yourself, if you haven't seen them; feel free to use the link provided at the start of this post. That page also includes the three fake drawings (the ones brought to the Middle East by a Danish imam without any trace of common sense), something you might find helps shed some light on the whole burning and pillaging thing.
If you want more, The Mohammed Image Archive is a collection of different depictions of the prophet throughout history, including Persian art and, of course, Danish cartoons. And these political cartoons discuss the controversy in far greater depth than any blog, even one as brilliant as my own, ever could. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand embassies.
Latest news: US vice-president Dick Cheney shoots a guy while hunting. Unofficial sources say Dick claimed the man "had some weapons of mass destruction under his coat".
February 03, 2006
Murderer sighted!
The Killer, wearing the victims head as a mask. A truly gruesome vision.
I wasn't too bothered by the sight, though. As previously indicated, I was quite drunk.
February 01, 2006
Murder!
The victim of a senseless slaughter. Blame it on the tequila. Also notice the dishwashing utensil to the left, I have no idea what it is doing there.
January 24, 2006
Swing it
Saw Swingers last night. Last time I did was about 10 years ago, at which time I enjoyed it. Luckily I didn't remember much except that it was funny and charming, which made last night's viewing all the more sweet. Now, however, the movie resonated in a way denied me the last time, 'cause hey, let's face it: I was no playa at the age of 14.
That's not saying I am one now, but at least I know the score. I've seen the cruel, eat-or-be-eaten world of the nubs and the nightclubs. And that's why the main characters continued rejections and mishaps gets me straight in the self-esteem, while knocking my chair back laughing. I feel with the guy, I laugh knowingly with him at his embarrasing fuck-ups and, in the end, I taste the victory, I feel the bunny between my teeth (as they say..) when he finally strikes paydirt. So, with no further ado: As always, I command you to take a jog down to the video store, rent Swingers, and enjoy. Afterwards you may masturbate if you want. Just watch it through to the end first (you can hold it that long, can't you?). Because: It's money, baby.
And this place is dead, anyway.
That's not saying I am one now, but at least I know the score. I've seen the cruel, eat-or-be-eaten world of the nubs and the nightclubs. And that's why the main characters continued rejections and mishaps gets me straight in the self-esteem, while knocking my chair back laughing. I feel with the guy, I laugh knowingly with him at his embarrasing fuck-ups and, in the end, I taste the victory, I feel the bunny between my teeth (as they say..) when he finally strikes paydirt. So, with no further ado: As always, I command you to take a jog down to the video store, rent Swingers, and enjoy. Afterwards you may masturbate if you want. Just watch it through to the end first (you can hold it that long, can't you?). Because: It's money, baby.
And this place is dead, anyway.
January 22, 2006
Random update
Ha ha! Now noone can tell me I never update this thing.
Oh, you want content, do you? You are bored, and want me to provide your rotting brain with fresh waste? Okay, here's what you do: Go watch this big ad (it's really big). Then go masturbate.
When you're done (unless you wanna do it again, which is allowed, as long as you don't let your girlfriend/boyfriend see you, unless he/she likes to watch you do your thing, which may or may not be normal but shan't be discussed in depth at this time) go download the original Elder Scrolls: Arena, since it's been released as freeware and all, and play it. By the time you're done with it I'll probably have plenty more posts for you.
But wait, there's more: Me and a buddy wasted a whole afternoon playing this little gem, which is (like all good time-wasters) deceptively simple, but highly addictive. Oh, and it's a demo, so if you feel the price for an upgrade is too steep, you could always buy yourself a brand new Mac, 'cause they come equipped with the full version. If you ask me, that's the best reason for buying one, anyway.
One more game for the road: If you've never played Samorost, go do so now. It's free, short, and brilliant, and way too cute for me to provide a link. If you've never googled before in your life, now's as good a time as any to start.
Oh, you want content, do you? You are bored, and want me to provide your rotting brain with fresh waste? Okay, here's what you do: Go watch this big ad (it's really big). Then go masturbate.
When you're done (unless you wanna do it again, which is allowed, as long as you don't let your girlfriend/boyfriend see you, unless he/she likes to watch you do your thing, which may or may not be normal but shan't be discussed in depth at this time) go download the original Elder Scrolls: Arena, since it's been released as freeware and all, and play it. By the time you're done with it I'll probably have plenty more posts for you.
But wait, there's more: Me and a buddy wasted a whole afternoon playing this little gem, which is (like all good time-wasters) deceptively simple, but highly addictive. Oh, and it's a demo, so if you feel the price for an upgrade is too steep, you could always buy yourself a brand new Mac, 'cause they come equipped with the full version. If you ask me, that's the best reason for buying one, anyway.
One more game for the road: If you've never played Samorost, go do so now. It's free, short, and brilliant, and way too cute for me to provide a link. If you've never googled before in your life, now's as good a time as any to start.
January 03, 2006
Annual bullshit report
Sometimes, I understand. When I do, I stop making any sense whatsoever. This is because understanding cannot be explained. At least that is what I tell myself.
And so that was christmas, and what have I done? Well, for starters, I've been relishing in the relative comfort of home (the real home, as it were, a very different place from my regular home), relaxing and conversing with friends and family. I also got drunk, which is to be expected, since it's a Norwegian tradition that must not be broken. However, I never really got wasted, which was strange. Also, this christmas I seemed to constantly end up at nachspiels featuring the smaller sisters of old friends, which was kind of bizarre.
Our tree this year (or rather, last year) was as crooked as the president of the U.S., it flatly refused to stand straight in any way, and it also fell dramatically towards me on one occasion. If it wasn't for a luckily placed piece of string, I wouldn't be here today. Or at least I would have been hurting somewhat more.
That horrible curse of holidays, family gatherings, were present this time as well, only in very small doses, thankfully. To everyone's surprise I not only survived, but also found a small speck of enjoyment in it. I guess that's the magic of Coca-Cola or something.
Other stuff:
New Year's Eve has come and gone, and it is something I probably shouldn't speak of. Not that there's much to say, anyway. Suffice to say there were a lot of fireworks and some booze involved, and much talk of women's private parts.
Finally saw Stalker. Loved it.
On the music side of things, I'm currently looking into Devendra Banhart (got his new cd for chrismas). Right now, however, I'm listening to Norwegian gypsy-punk band Kaizers Orchestra, who are very noisy but still quite good.
Edit: Oh yeah, Happy New Year, bastards.
And so that was christmas, and what have I done? Well, for starters, I've been relishing in the relative comfort of home (the real home, as it were, a very different place from my regular home), relaxing and conversing with friends and family. I also got drunk, which is to be expected, since it's a Norwegian tradition that must not be broken. However, I never really got wasted, which was strange. Also, this christmas I seemed to constantly end up at nachspiels featuring the smaller sisters of old friends, which was kind of bizarre.
Our tree this year (or rather, last year) was as crooked as the president of the U.S., it flatly refused to stand straight in any way, and it also fell dramatically towards me on one occasion. If it wasn't for a luckily placed piece of string, I wouldn't be here today. Or at least I would have been hurting somewhat more.
That horrible curse of holidays, family gatherings, were present this time as well, only in very small doses, thankfully. To everyone's surprise I not only survived, but also found a small speck of enjoyment in it. I guess that's the magic of Coca-Cola or something.
Other stuff:
New Year's Eve has come and gone, and it is something I probably shouldn't speak of. Not that there's much to say, anyway. Suffice to say there were a lot of fireworks and some booze involved, and much talk of women's private parts.
Finally saw Stalker. Loved it.
On the music side of things, I'm currently looking into Devendra Banhart (got his new cd for chrismas). Right now, however, I'm listening to Norwegian gypsy-punk band Kaizers Orchestra, who are very noisy but still quite good.
Edit: Oh yeah, Happy New Year, bastards.
December 22, 2005
The Truth, uncensored
Gather round, kids, it's Quasi-Philosophy Hour.
Listen: People say "To each his own," and "I need to take care of myself before I am able to take care of others," and "I don't have the energy, my batteries need recharging." Listen, children, because what they are saying is this: "Stop bothering me. I am the world. Fuck off." This is the truth: There is no such thing as Surplus Energy. Everyone has needs, and these needs are too great for themselves to manage. From this we can learn several things. The first, and most important thing is this: Put Other People First. Naturally, this means sacrifice. It also means that you will need people, Other People, who may be hard to find, depending on your luck. The lucky ones begin their life with these Other People looking out for them. Others stumble upon them by accident. The rest will have to search, long and hard. Some may choose the Easy Way, often referred to as Religion. But this I believe: Religion is a Lie. There is no Easy Way.
Enough talk about Other People for now, you probably know this already anyway. Nature has already placed it in your mind (even if it's sometimes hard to find), so as to ensure you won't give up without trying.
Something else can be learned, namely that Individuality is both a Lie and a Truth. It is a lie if you worship it, but it is true when you value it.
And lastly, at least for now, one can learn about Meaning. Now, children, I need you to bear with me, because this is somewhat of a leap in logic: Putting Other People First is not a goal in itself, but means to an end. It's a tool that mankind will need to evolve, just as fire and hammers and whatnot before it. What is more, we cannot evolve further while stuck in the loop of our survival instincts. People have been concerned about their dinner, their bloodline and their physical welfare since, well, always. Only when freed from these obligations, only when we're living in Luxury and giving our very own survival the finger, is it possible to discover just what the hell we're supposed to be doing (if anything).
I am aware that this is impossible, which is why it doesn't really matter, but, boys and girls, you also need to be aware of this: Luxury is not the same as Apathy (nor is it an excuse for it), and it is not Surplus Energy, either. It is merely a state of mind, and impossible to reach unless you have Other People looking out for you. Which, in turn, means you have to look out for Other People. And so the wonderful (or hideous, depending on your point of view) cycle begins.
And so the lesson ends, with many questions. You may ask: Who are these Other People, and where can I find them? Just what is it we're supposed to be doing, then? What the fuck are you babbling about, anyway? I will answer your questions in the very spirit of Angry-La, like so: Don't know, don't really care.
One more thing: Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate that sort of thing, and Have a Nice Weekend to those of you who don't.
Listen: People say "To each his own," and "I need to take care of myself before I am able to take care of others," and "I don't have the energy, my batteries need recharging." Listen, children, because what they are saying is this: "Stop bothering me. I am the world. Fuck off." This is the truth: There is no such thing as Surplus Energy. Everyone has needs, and these needs are too great for themselves to manage. From this we can learn several things. The first, and most important thing is this: Put Other People First. Naturally, this means sacrifice. It also means that you will need people, Other People, who may be hard to find, depending on your luck. The lucky ones begin their life with these Other People looking out for them. Others stumble upon them by accident. The rest will have to search, long and hard. Some may choose the Easy Way, often referred to as Religion. But this I believe: Religion is a Lie. There is no Easy Way.
Enough talk about Other People for now, you probably know this already anyway. Nature has already placed it in your mind (even if it's sometimes hard to find), so as to ensure you won't give up without trying.
Something else can be learned, namely that Individuality is both a Lie and a Truth. It is a lie if you worship it, but it is true when you value it.
And lastly, at least for now, one can learn about Meaning. Now, children, I need you to bear with me, because this is somewhat of a leap in logic: Putting Other People First is not a goal in itself, but means to an end. It's a tool that mankind will need to evolve, just as fire and hammers and whatnot before it. What is more, we cannot evolve further while stuck in the loop of our survival instincts. People have been concerned about their dinner, their bloodline and their physical welfare since, well, always. Only when freed from these obligations, only when we're living in Luxury and giving our very own survival the finger, is it possible to discover just what the hell we're supposed to be doing (if anything).
I am aware that this is impossible, which is why it doesn't really matter, but, boys and girls, you also need to be aware of this: Luxury is not the same as Apathy (nor is it an excuse for it), and it is not Surplus Energy, either. It is merely a state of mind, and impossible to reach unless you have Other People looking out for you. Which, in turn, means you have to look out for Other People. And so the wonderful (or hideous, depending on your point of view) cycle begins.
And so the lesson ends, with many questions. You may ask: Who are these Other People, and where can I find them? Just what is it we're supposed to be doing, then? What the fuck are you babbling about, anyway? I will answer your questions in the very spirit of Angry-La, like so: Don't know, don't really care.
One more thing: Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate that sort of thing, and Have a Nice Weekend to those of you who don't.
December 14, 2005
Adventure Waits for No Man (or elf)
My grand return to World of Warcraft turned out to be a bit disappointing. I had expected horns and fireworks, and a collective sigh of relief that things were finally back to normal, everyone could let go of their dreadful longing (for the me) and start enjoying the game again.
The reason this didn't happen is, of course, because WoW never really stopped when I left, not that many people noticed, and in addition I have now started a completely new level 1 character on a whole different realm. Nevertheless, another dream of greatness shattered, in the most brutal of ways: By simply not caring.
Besides that, it was fun. Slower than I remembered, but still.
The reason this didn't happen is, of course, because WoW never really stopped when I left, not that many people noticed, and in addition I have now started a completely new level 1 character on a whole different realm. Nevertheless, another dream of greatness shattered, in the most brutal of ways: By simply not caring.
Besides that, it was fun. Slower than I remembered, but still.
December 08, 2005
Harry Potter, professional bully
As you've likely guessed from the headline, it's time to talk about the deeper machinations of the mind. This stems from a discussion I had with a friend the other day. We were watching Harry Pothead and the Stoned Philosopher when she suddenly cried out: This is crap. Well, she didn't say it like that, and besides, she speaks norwegish, but still. Her main source of aggression was the blatantly obvious way in which the characters are presented: The bad brats are cowardly and stupid, while Potter & friends are kind, courageous, succesful, violent (but only when they 'need' to be) and petty. Wait a second. Petty? Oh, yes. The nice kids love nothing better than seeing their rivals get beaten and humiliated. My friend continued her tirade by saying how kids should't be exposed to this and how she would keep her own children from seeing it.
That's really where I chimed in (arguing that kids are capable of at least some thought), but that's beside the point. The Potter series is, as far as I'm concerned, quite harmless in its obvious escapism. Besides that, I agree with her completely, and had the same thoughts myself the first time I saw it. But let's leave Harry to his evil schemings and talk about something far more serious. Today, you see, I read the newspaper (and this is where you all go, "oooh!"). It told me that 18% of Norwegians between 18 and 25 years thinks torture is acceptable and a valuable tool in the skirmishes against terrorism. When every damn military intelligence expert will tell you that torture does not work, how in the pus-soaked hell have people gotten this impression? Yes, 24, I'm looking at you. The wildly overrated TV series throws torture at the viewer as often as possible, as many of you probably know. But the worst thing is, it's the good guys who're doing it. And they always get the information they need.
Of course, 24 is not alone in this ridiculous point of view. Basically, Hollywood (and most other parts of western culture) are telling us this: If the Bad People (tm) are violent, we, the Good Guys (tm), need to be even more violent. Violence is key, violence is God in western society. To me, this is far more disturbing than some kid who fights evil by waving his penis, excuse me, his 'magic wand', and plays airborne rugby without having to adjust his glasses once.
That's really where I chimed in (arguing that kids are capable of at least some thought), but that's beside the point. The Potter series is, as far as I'm concerned, quite harmless in its obvious escapism. Besides that, I agree with her completely, and had the same thoughts myself the first time I saw it. But let's leave Harry to his evil schemings and talk about something far more serious. Today, you see, I read the newspaper (and this is where you all go, "oooh!"). It told me that 18% of Norwegians between 18 and 25 years thinks torture is acceptable and a valuable tool in the skirmishes against terrorism. When every damn military intelligence expert will tell you that torture does not work, how in the pus-soaked hell have people gotten this impression? Yes, 24, I'm looking at you. The wildly overrated TV series throws torture at the viewer as often as possible, as many of you probably know. But the worst thing is, it's the good guys who're doing it. And they always get the information they need.
Of course, 24 is not alone in this ridiculous point of view. Basically, Hollywood (and most other parts of western culture) are telling us this: If the Bad People (tm) are violent, we, the Good Guys (tm), need to be even more violent. Violence is key, violence is God in western society. To me, this is far more disturbing than some kid who fights evil by waving his penis, excuse me, his 'magic wand', and plays airborne rugby without having to adjust his glasses once.
Have nerd, will trade
Seems like it's open season on nerds these days. First, go read this. And then, let me follow up with some colour commentary: Since the relative success of the football nerds, apparently Norwegian TV execs are desperate for other strange things they can get nerds to do. If you close your eyes, you can, mayhaps, see them in your mind; wondering, what places haven't nerds been before? The answer, of course, is blindingly obvious: The bosom of a beautiful woman. It's a concept almost mind-bending in its ingenious simplicity, yet it sounds about as fresh and innovative as a modern-day Dallas. But the logic of the executives is flawed, they're forgetting one thing: A beautiful woman is far more common than a quality nerd. They're in grave danger of treading well-worn waters when they're asking the females to apply, as well. Why not just grab a bunch of nerds and toss them into a den of sex-crazy strippers? And how about they replace the nerds with world-weary, physically deformed dwarves (preferrably intelligent ones)? Now that's a show I'd like to watch.
My guess is they'll get quite a few candidates for this one, though. For all their combined intelligence, the football nerds still don't seem to grasp the fact that they're being ridiculed on national TV. But neither does the average viewer, apparently.
My guess is they'll get quite a few candidates for this one, though. For all their combined intelligence, the football nerds still don't seem to grasp the fact that they're being ridiculed on national TV. But neither does the average viewer, apparently.
December 05, 2005
Celebrate the Randomness
What do you know, after each aggressive, pessimistic post there must follow complete nonsense. This time it comes in the form of Wikipedias graveyard of silliness, which should warm the hearts of everybody, especially fans of absurd humor.
Mankind Behaving Badly
Global peace is just around the corner! Or maybe not. Although it's easy to, once again, blame Israel for making an unnecessary contribution to world chaos, reality is as always not that simple. Actually, their behaviour in this case resembles the actions of a spoiled child more than a psychopathic killer (which is usually the case). And on that same note, the sulky brat-award this week goes to Iran, who've announced that they want to build another nuclear power plant, while still looking for the 'on' button of their first one. I could give you more examples, but my guess is you get the general idea: Kids with guns is a bad thing, but kids with nuclear weapons, hordes of religious fanatics and/or a strong diplomatic relationship with the world's most powerful and evil country (I'm not talking Switzerland here, folks) is just plain crazy. Add in the fact that all responsible adults seem to have left the planet permanently, and it leaves all of us with two choices: Stay awake at night and tremble with fear, or fuck it and try to make the best of the time that's left.
What's that you're saying? You're thinking about the future? Damn it all, haven't you been paying attention? Go for a swim, and if that doesn't clear your head, why not go shopping? And feel free to sound off on a random internet forum.
Yes, the future looks fantastic. Remember to save your money, your children will need them to get the toxic spill out of their hair (using a special shampoo, produced under license from the Coca-Cola Company).
Oh, all right. Rant complete. Have a nap. (Zen fire ze missiles!)
What's that you're saying? You're thinking about the future? Damn it all, haven't you been paying attention? Go for a swim, and if that doesn't clear your head, why not go shopping? And feel free to sound off on a random internet forum.
Yes, the future looks fantastic. Remember to save your money, your children will need them to get the toxic spill out of their hair (using a special shampoo, produced under license from the Coca-Cola Company).
Oh, all right. Rant complete. Have a nap. (Zen fire ze missiles!)
November 27, 2005
The Truth is Outer (part 1 perhaps)
Remember that old sci-fi/horror show, the X-files? Remember how cool you thought it was that there finally was a serious show about aliens and ghosts and other strange stuff? And after a while, how you were able to see through each episode completely; that Mulder and Scully would survive, that they would never learn anything of value, that each episode would end with Scully giving a completely ludicrous scientific explanation on the events of today's episode and then something would happen to make her go "WTF?"?
Around the time I got access to the channel broadcasting the X-files, another sci-fi show made its way on to norwegian television. This show you may not remember, it was called 'the Outer Limits'. Here there were no safeguards, all bets were off, there was no such thing as a predictable outcome, and noone was guaranteed survival. Why? Because OL was an anthology show. Each episode a self-contained story, trying to trick and twist the viewers mind as much as their budget would allow. All sceptics beware: I was about 14 years old at the time, and hadn't really seen that much genre shows. I was also completely unaware of wonders such as the Twilight Zone or Tales from the Crypt, but that's irrelevant.
The Outer Limits (the 90s one, not the original) only got one full season on norwegian television (the original got none, in case you were wondering), but due to trickery and obscure, dark magicks I have, over the years, gotten to see a lot more. And every damn time I watch it, I get the same thought in my barely-functoning brain: Why on earth aren't any norwegians making stuff like this?
More on this later, perhaps, if these thoughts remain (unlikely, but worth a shot). But now I am going to bed. It is late; my chin is getting hairy. Also, watch in awe as my pun powers grow.
Around the time I got access to the channel broadcasting the X-files, another sci-fi show made its way on to norwegian television. This show you may not remember, it was called 'the Outer Limits'. Here there were no safeguards, all bets were off, there was no such thing as a predictable outcome, and noone was guaranteed survival. Why? Because OL was an anthology show. Each episode a self-contained story, trying to trick and twist the viewers mind as much as their budget would allow. All sceptics beware: I was about 14 years old at the time, and hadn't really seen that much genre shows. I was also completely unaware of wonders such as the Twilight Zone or Tales from the Crypt, but that's irrelevant.
The Outer Limits (the 90s one, not the original) only got one full season on norwegian television (the original got none, in case you were wondering), but due to trickery and obscure, dark magicks I have, over the years, gotten to see a lot more. And every damn time I watch it, I get the same thought in my barely-functoning brain: Why on earth aren't any norwegians making stuff like this?
More on this later, perhaps, if these thoughts remain (unlikely, but worth a shot). But now I am going to bed. It is late; my chin is getting hairy. Also, watch in awe as my pun powers grow.
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