Interview With the Vampyre

Let's talk job interviews. My first meeting with this oh-so-crucial aspect of modern civilization was a few weeks ago, as previously mentioned. Then, all of a sudden, I've had three more in the last two days. Now, while today's interview was a quite uplifting affair, the two I had yesterday, both for telemarketing companies, struck me as rather bizarre. Let me count the ways..

The first one was strange in how the interviewers, a man and a woman, had clearly assigned roles. I felt like I was being interrogated, left in a small room, refused water (although in truth, I never asked), and being constantly cross-examined. First off, the man (bad cop) would ask me some questions about my background, personal qualifications and motivation for taking the job. Then he left, and the woman (good cop) came in, asking all sorts of relevant and irrelevant questions, including those I had already been asked, in a friendly manner. About 45 minutes later, another switch.
Bad Cop returned with mostly excactly the same questions, only this time he was quite a bit more aggressive in tone. How many times do I have to say why I want the job, anyway? In the end I felt like shouting out "the money! I'm here for the goddamn money!" but never did.

And yet, despite the 'bad NYPD Blue episode' feel of the whole situation, it was a lot more of an actual interview than the next one. The next one was, you see, something as utterly pointless as a group interview. Me and about nine other people were sitting around a table, trying to resist the urge to masturbate and wondering if that would get us the job. We also had a mini-discussion, regarding Norway's flabby royal line and whether they should be brutally executed or not (I had to argue not, unfortunately). In the end I can't really see what information the Potential Employers could possibly get about us as individuals, but then again, there is no 'I' in 'telemarketing'. Wait, there is. My bad.

Oh, and both interviews lasted for at least one hour. Which is at least 20 minutes too much for a part-time job. No offense meant (take note, because I rarely mean little or no offense), but you Potential Employers really need to ease up a bit. You won't know if someone is fit for the job until they've tried it, no matter how many suits they wear and how much damage their hair is doing to the ozone layer.
About the last interview, however, I've got nothing but good things to say. And so I won't say it, since I know how easily bored you people are.